How to Help People with Depression

If you've been reading my blog, you may have a sense of how terrible and isolating the illness of depression can be - feeling that there is no where to turn, and no one to turn to, for comfort. The majority of people don't understand it, some are afraid of it, and they don't know how to help. People often say "I wish I could help but don't know what to do".

Here are two simple things that you can do to help:
Visit or call, or do both - even if the visit or call is brief - even if your friend has nothing to say. The depressed person feels very alone, even though they are not. Your visits and calls will help them to feel less alone and less isolated. These acts of kindness will mean more than you can know to someone who is living with this terrible illness.

Is Oblivion Really Bliss?

Imagine mourning your own life while you are still alive.

My life has been stolen by depression – my whole life. It’s stolen family, friends, jobs, joy, peace, creativity, productivity.

It’s no one’s fault. Even though I inherited this illness from my father and his family, I cannot blame them.

But I mourn my loss.

I once wrote a paper for a college class entitled “The Person.”

It told about a recurrent dream I had, where I was locked inside a clear plastic bubble. I could see and hear what was going on outside, but no one could see or hear me. I would bang on the bubble’s walls and scream, “I’m in here”, but no one responded. The ultimate isolation dream.

That dream pretty much sums up my life. That old rock and a hard place – the deep desire to participate in life in a never ending battle with the paralysis of depression.  Perhaps if I were not so intelligent I would not know what I was missing. Is oblivion really bliss?

DNA Testing Revisited

Taking antidepressants has been an on-going  battle for me, particularly when the illness is in full bloom. I’m not quite sure why but have two hypotheses. One – I think I’m poisoning my body. Two – they feed into the social stigma that I am damaged. Ridiculous. Intellectually I know that I am not damaged but have a serious illness. And even if these meds somehow shorten my life, I’d rather live a short, depression-free life than a long, suffering existence. I often did not listen to my doctor, either by stopping meds too early or taking a lower dosage than prescribed. I think, and hope, that I’ve finally learned my lesson.

I’ve talked about DNA testing in previous blogs, and most recently said the meds recommended for me as a result of these tests were not working. I now know that I had not given them enough time. After being on Pristiq for 3 weeks and Wellbutrin for 3 days, I emailed my doctor, saying I wanted to get off the Pristiq, thinking it was making me worse. I have great respect for my doctor and had made a pact with her that I would not alter medication without discussing it with her. I had broken that pact in the past and not wanting to do that again, I quickly emailed her again saying I would stay on the meds. After all, she is my doctor, so if I’m not going to listen to her, what’s the point?

Yesterday, the depression lifted. It was as if someone threw a switch in my brain. Had I stopped the meds, I very likely would still be in hell. Today is another good day and I hope for many more.

Thank you, Catherine.

Prestiq not working

I've been taking Prestiq now for 5 weeks and it's not working. The supplement recommended to help transport serotinin did not work either. So much for DNA testing! But don't be discouraged if your doc recommends it because it has helped others.

I'm now over 2 months into another episode of depression. Yesterday, I started the Thyroid Synergy and Crave Arrest supplements again, given to me by the kinesiologist. Today, the depression has lifted.
What is it about these supplements that help me, and why do they work only for a limited amount of time? Again, no one knows and there is no way to find out.

The Best Antidepressant!

If you have a dog, take him to a dog park. It's nearly impossible to be sad in the presence of dogs at play.

I take my beloved dog to the dog park frequently and it always takes me out of my head and lifts my spirits.

DNA Test Results

The DNA study was interesting. It looked at three genetic pathways that transport antidepressants. Only one of my pathways was working. Lab was able to suggest which meds worked for me, and which did not. The med I've been on for twenty years, Paxil, was shown not to work - big surprise. They recommended Prestiq. I've been on this new med now for about three weeks. It has lifted the physical symptoms, but I'm still depressed. This is my third day off Paxil, and so far I have not had any withdrawal symptoms, which I know from experience can be wicked. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I continue to sail through without any symptoms. And maybe, the Prestiq will continue to lift me out of this dreaded illness.

Will depression ever be understood?

My friend has cancer. She has been so sick from the chemotherapy that at times, she wishes she never started treatment. She’s really suffering. Fortunately, she has lots of support from good friends who cook for her and visit.

I have depression. Sometimes I am so sick all I want to do is sleep. While my friends call to check up on me, no one cooks for me or visits.

Why the difference?

Most people just don't understand depression.

I remember reading somewhere about a man who had severe depression. He had a friend who visited him. There was little conversation - the friend just massaged his feet. How comforted the suffering man must have felt.

If you would like to help others understand this illness, suggest that they read "Darkness Visible - A Memoir of Madness" by William Styron.

The Demon Returns

April is a time of renewal and rebirth in the natural world when the tree flowers, daffodils, and other spring flowers bloom, and the spring peepers emerge from their winter sleep in the mud to sing their amazing chorus. But for me, after three glorious months of being depression free, productive and content, April has brought back the demon.

The spark has left my eyes, my face feels like melting wax, there is panic in my gut and I just want to cry. Instead of living in the world, I've gone back inside my head with all the negative thinking, physical aches and pains, isolation and loneliness. Try as I do to beat back this devil with my intellect, it's just too powerful and leaves me helpless.

Thanks to my wonderful caregiver and friend, I recently had a DNA study done and it was discovered that my body is deficient in the ingredient necessary to process serotinin. I'll be trying a new supplement to address this issue and will let you know if it works. I'm hoping it will lift me up before I'm totally debiliated again. I also hope this process proves positive and will give hope to others who suffer from treatment-resistent depression.

FEELING HUMAN

Today is January 6 and is the 4th consecutive day I'm been depression-free. This comes after 4 months of debilitating depression. If I stay well (please oh please), this will be another cycle of depression and feeling well. This has been going on for many years - months of depression, months of feeling normal.

Last year, I was tested by a kinesiologist who put me on 2 supplements, Thyroid Synergy and Crave Arrest. Among other substances, they contain iodine and 5-HTP. After a few weeks, the depression lifted. I felt so well that I thought I could get off the Paxil which I'd been on for 20 years and which obviously no longer worked since I have periods of depression. The withdrawal symptoms were so brutal that I couldn't bear them. I went back on it and probably will have to stay on it for the rest of my life. (I continued to feel well for several months, than crashed so I stopped taking the supplements).

Paxil is now known to be the most addictive of the SSRIs. I've done lots of reading on this topic. Some folks have been able to get off it (not easily) - some could not. (I've heard that doctors don't like to prescribe Paxil anymore because of the addictiveness).

Anyway, 6 days ago I remembered the supplements and began taking them again. I can't say that they are the reason for feeling better since I've been cycling like this for years before I found them. What I do know is that coming out of the depression is the most incredible relief - it's almost like being reborn. Long may it last.