You Don't Bring Me Flowers

Unlike most serious illnesses, there are no tests for depression. Diabetes is monitored through testing blood sugar, cancer can be looked at through biopsies, and heart disease can be seen through injecting dye into the veins or with new scan technology.  While changes in the brain can be seen on a certain type of scan, the only measure for depression is the way a person is feeling and how they are living their life.  I believe that because this illness cannot be measured it seems less real to non-sufferers. Depression sufferers are often told to "Just get up and go for a walk." Non-sufferers can't grasp the fact that we can't get up - that we are paralyzed by this illness. And even if the non-sufferers understand, it usually leaves them feeling helpless.

Many of us have visited a loved one or friend in the hospital, bringing best wishes and flowers. Even when we are home with the flu or a cold, we often receive a gift of homemade chicken soup. But because others feel so helpless in the life of a depressed person, they tend to stay away, and while mental illness has finally been recognized as a real medical illness, stigma still exists. Depression is a cruel and isolating illness.
I am fortunate, however, to have a circle of friends, who despite not being able to comprehend what I go through, love me in spite of it and check in on me regularly. But generally speaking, no one brings flowers for depression.