Why Depression?

I have no reason to be sad or depressed - I have a nice life. In depression, I'm always thinking if only I had this, if only I had that, I would feel better. But I know that no external thing, such as a job or relationship, will take away the depression. In depression, I have the same life I had out of depression. I have a beautiful new home, enough money to support myself, a few friends, my cat and my dog. I constantly need to remind myself of this. What I have is a serious illness that colors my world black. The loneliness in depression is excruciating and the physical pain is intense. But I would love to have someone of my own - someone who accepts and loves me with my illness and would support me through the episodes. I don't know if this would make me feel better but I think it would be wonderful. I don't think it will happen and I can't help believing that my life's journey is loneliness. Not having family leaves a huge whole in the human heart.